NFL

The Hammer :

The NFL, or National Football League is the largest professional American football league in the world.
Sounds impressive, no ?

Think again dipshits.

The NFL is the biggest American football league in the world purely because there's no competition. No one cares about American Football.

Reasons for my statement :
1. There is no American football World Cup
2. There are no major competitions involving American football that the world cares about. (even the Olympics ignores them. In your face, padding-toting pansies)
3. It involves Americans

Where real sports end, NFL begins

American Football is the manliest sport in the world, after real football (soccer, to all you American scum), rugby, Aussie Rules, cricket, tennis, badminton, swimming, bowling, ice skating, skateboarding, Formula 1, flower arranging, gymnastics, athletics, weightlifting, croquet, golf, fishing, archery, shooting, and ballet.

We're talking hairy eyeballs here.

What's not to like about the NFL ? After all, it IS 11 men covered in padding running at each other in the sole hope of advancing an oval shaped "ball" toward a giant post. Sure sounds like rugby, doesn't it ?
Maybe i'm just drunk.
(For any lucky Americans fortunate enough to stumble upon these reasons as to why your sport sucks, rugby is a REAL mans game.)

THIS is a man's sport, you sodding Yanks

So they steal the concept from rugby. I suppose I can live with that. But then, they invaded the territory of the greatest sport to have ever graced this earth.

Football

Even Chuck Norris wouldn't stand a chance

Everyone knows not to mess with football. It's like dissing Al Capone in Chicago in the 1920's.
If the world of sport was based on marking ones territory, football would be the giant rockhound which pissed everywhere and totally owned.

Football is the greatest sport ever played by man. If the Greeks knew about football back then, Zeus would wield giant footballs at his enemies in the age old myths, not pussy ass lightning bolts.

I mean, everyone knows that only Chuck Norris can wield lightning bolts and rock tits.

Zeus doesn't stand a chance

If football existed back then, Sparta wouldn't win due to their soldiers with rippling muscles and awesome fighting formations,they would merely play football so manly that all other states would give up their women and children to slavery. The only downside is that the manliest movie ever made, 300, wouldn't exist in the way we know it

They would still kill the Persians

The fact that American football stole the very NAME of football though, is what pisses The Hammer off the most.
American football has nothing in common with real football.

Football kicks American football's ass, there's simply no competition.Even hooligans that belong to real football kick more ass.

Lastly, let's just conveniently forget the fact that they don't actually use their feet in American football!

Sure puts the FOOT in football!

I mean, this "sport" has even spawned countless movies and television series which capitalise on the glamour of American football. Examples include The Longest Yard and Monday Night Football. All this just brainwashes the general public that American football is a glorious and honourable sport, whereas in reality, it's something Koreans would play.

"He" would play American football

A sport that encourages men to wear padding to bump into each other is NOT a sport. Look at rugby, all they wear are tight shirts, shorts, socks,cleats and helmets for those who have undergone brain surgery.
And when they clash, they sure clash with a vengeance.
Similiar to 2 male rhinos with raging hormones clashing over the last female rhino in the world.

Even when rhinos do this, they clash harder

But that's all from The Hammer for now. Feel free to comment if you're a brainless, dimwitted and half-brained American football fan.

No marks for guessing, but if you are, i'd guess that you'd be American

Needs to cum,
The Hammer